trudiannracquel

Category: singleness

  • 5 Affordable Ways to Treat Yourself

    Hello! Hi!

    I hope you have a better day than you were yesterday.

    Emotionally treating myself is something I never used to think was necessary. I used to feed into the hustle hard, team no sleep, nobody cares work harder, culture. I used to believe that working all-nighters was the way to go.

    I was very wrong.

    I’ve learned through trial by fire that it is of the utmost importance that I take care of myself first. If my mental health isn’t at least 80%, I can’t function. I can’t be a version of the woman I want to be in the future.

    Bonus (sarcasm): I work at a fast-food restaurant as a manager, so it’s not like I can shower myself in luxury regularly. And I am also trying to save to move out of my parents’ house. ‘Trying’ is the operative word. (If you watch my YouTube channel, you’ll see why I say that).

    Here are a few ways I’ve treated myself recently! Most are free, and some are cheap (depending on your tastes).

    1. Cry. It sounds weird, but a good cry can help you release some frustrations you have. Crying can release pent-up tension in your chest. If you live in a place where you can scream, screaming is a much better option. But if you live in suburbia, crying is a good alternative.
    2. Exercise. Movement is key to maintaining a healthy life, especially when you don’t feel like peeling your body from your bed. Exercise is an excellent way to distract yourself, even with thoughts of wanting to run back into your bed.
    3. Picnic. Okay, this is more of a date idea. But putting together a smorgasbord of your favourite finger foods and getting dressed up is a great way to spend time with yourself and feel special (in theory).
    4. Dance Session. Okay, this one I started doing about two years ago when I would get overwhelmed with school. I give myself 10-15 minutes, put on Queen Bey, and dance like no one is watching. It’s an energy rush because I know all the words to the songs I choose, and I get to lose myself in good music and happy lyrics.
    5. Read. Reading is a great way to escape your reality. I get immersed in many books, especially fantasy and rom coms. I’ve been avoiding romance books recently, but I recently read Monday’s Not Coming and They Both Die at The End and completely forgot where I was for a good three days. Reading could even be free if you borrow books from the library instead of buying books!

    I hope these ideas help, even a little bit. I know it isn’t easy even to choose to take care of yourself. But there’s a little sunshine since you decided to read this post, right?

  • 3 Things I Learned After my Breakup

    I will say this honestly.

    I have felt better in the past few days than I’ve felt over the past two months. I started waking up and not thinking about my ex. I started cooking for myself and eating well again. I felt myself falling in love with God and my life. I just started to look on the bright side of things.

    And that only started this past week.

    So, you can imagine my hesitation when I had planned weeks ago to write a blog post that brings up moments of distress and depression. However, I’m living with the mindset that my pain has a purpose. And through this pain, I had a few lightbulb moments that have really resonated with me.

    Hopefully, this will give you a little bit of comfort when you’re going through a difficult time. It doesn’t have to be heartbreak of the romantic kind: it could be friendship, it could be a business relationship, or it could be that you didn’t achieve a goal you set for yourself.

    1. It’s okay to be upset with God; He can handle it. He’s aware of emotions and He’s experienced everything we are experiencing. He was human after all. It’s okay to be confused and frustrated. The key is to bring that upset to Him. The key is to express yourself to Him as you would to a father you know and trust. And when you bring it to Him, listen to what He says to you in return. Now, I’m no expert in discerning His voice, but I can say that it feels good to release your frustration when you feel like sharing these emotions with people around you. Even if you can’t find the words, getting on your knees and crying helps a lot too.
    2. It’s okay to wake up one day and completely change yourself. It’s okay to want to embrace and embody a different persona, especially if the way you’ve moved through life hasn’t been serving you or helping you achieve your goals. I found myself wanting to hold on to stories I’ve told myself about who I am: I’m colourful, I’m quiet, I’m an introvert. There were a lot of storylines I’ve ingrained into myself that just don’t serve me or my purpose anymore. Now, I started focusing on how I can use my pain instead of trying to hide it or explain it away. I started changing the way I eat, the way I dress, and even the way I speak. And that’s okay. I may be unrecognizable to some people from my past, but everyone in my future already appreciates these changes in me. Even future me is loving what I’m doing now.
    3. People don’t have to explain to you the reasons they don’t want you in their life. And that’s okay. They don’t owe you anything; you only owe yourself to knowing that you’re worth more than a half-hearted explanation. This one was the hardest for me to get to, simply because I thought that the time and effort I put into a relationship should determine how the other person treats me. But I can’t control them or how they treat me. And if they have chosen not to treat me how I want to be treated, then it only means they aren’t supposed to be in my life.