If you’re at all familiar with the LSAT for 2023, you’ll know there are a lot of changes for this cycle of exams. In addition to new options, they partnered with a new proctor for those of us who choose to take the LSAT remotely/online. Aaaaand, we also know, if you keep with LSAT news, there was a catastrophe on Friday. However, before the meltdown of the LSAC website and Prometric, I had already decided to cancel my August LSAT exam date. Here’s why:
I made it my identity
I was approaching the LSAT in the wrong way. I made it my identity and not just the next step in a journey. I was forgetting myself and my own reasons for wanting to get into law school. Basically, I overwhelmed myself and put too much pressure on literally 3 hours of my life. If I did it, it would have just been for an ego boost to say “I can prep for 2 weeks for one the most important tests up to this point in my life”. Which, I cannot do.
I wasn’t ready
My practice test scores were still well below what I would want before feeling comfortable applying to law school. And in order to make up for the nerves you’ll feel and the mistakes you may make in exam conditions, you need to be scoring at least 2 points above your goal score for a few tests in a row. I was scoring a consistent 15+ points below my target.
Burnout
I just finished my Bachelor’s in Psychology 2 weeks prior to my exam date. Yay me! I don’t know what this is a symptom of, but I find it’s a bad habit of mine to overbook myself, be stressed out (and either become obsessive or enter zombie-zone) and then be upset at myself for booking important things so close to each other. I did not take the time to recuperate after studying for my final exams for my degree. And that reflected in how I was testing, even a week after my dedicated LSAT study.
Skipping the Fundamentals
If I’m being honest, I still didn’t understand basic concepts. And I didn’t know this gap in my knowledge existed until I started reading answers and wondering what some of the words mean. It was only a week before that I realized the difference between ‘fails to consider’ and ‘ takes for granted’. I didn’t feel comfortable doing most things in logical reasoning. When I started reading sometimes, my brain mushed words together and jumbled them. I also wasn’t as fast in reading comprehension as I could be. I’ve been reading and consolidating a lot for the past 3 years in academic contexts, so it was strange to realize that I’ve been reading wrong for the LSAT. I kept getting 1-2 questions wrong per passage and that’s not good enough. In the games section, while I’ve gotten way better at the skills required, I still struggle with new diagramming techniques because I hadn’t practiced often enough, and I kept getting 1 or 2 questions wrong per section. Again, not good enough for me.
Saving my Self-Esteem
Finally, my mental health and self-esteem would have plummeted. As I said, a lot of my identity was wrapped up in this test. However, I forgot that my identity is not a law student or future lawyer, it’s a representative of God. So if I had taken it in the headspace I was in, it would’ve felt like a reflection of me as a person, not a person taking the LSAT. I would’ve felt not smart, not good enough, even though the LSAT is simply a test of mental stamina and anybody could do well in it with enough practice. And if took it in that state and failed (which I would’ve), it would deter me from ever taking it again. Which means I’d never go to law school. And I believe that that’s where God is directing me towards.
So why was I going in unprepared?
I could’ve made up an excuse like “God does miracles with empty things”. Of course, he does. I have no idea how I even got into the university I’m in, or how I made it to graduation with all the external factors. But, he does miracles with people who he’s prepared. And if I’m being honest, I simply wasn’t prepared. I didn’t do even half of what I could do or what I’m capable of. I didn’t make it through enough practice tests, and drills, or even complete the study guide I bought. I wasn’t comfortable explaining concepts to myself, let alone working them out in a high-pressure situation.
So, I made the decision to cancel. And knowing what I know now, I don’t think I could have made a better decision for myself and whoever I impact in the future.